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9 months ago
your typical bad kid.
i was a bad kid.
couldn’t give 2 shits about what they said. didn’t give a damn about the consequences. never up before 4pm, never back home before 5am. young and rebellious. school took a backseat to my life. partying was my only priority. i felt no fear and never understood regret.
i did lots of things i’m not proud of. but my family eventually forgave me and i pulled myself out of that rut. to this day, friends ask ‘how did you get back on the right path?’ and you know, i honestly have no idea. it was like waking up from a horrible nightmare. your mind feels weak and disoriented at first, but then you shake it off and go back to sleep. and when you wake up, you can barely remember what the nightmare was.
so yes, i never grew up the conventional way. i destroyed my mother’s dream of having a lawyer/doctor daughter a long time ago.
when you’ve experienced the bad, you learn to appreciate the good a whole lot more. coming out of that unruly hiatus, i knew what i wanted out of life.
growing up book smart was never part of my destiny. looking at friends who went through the more conventional and traditional route, i can’t help but feel blessed. i sit here today, proud of the woman i’ve become. i wouldn’t change my past even if i could. without it, i would never be the person i am today.
one day, i will smile and tell my bad kids that i’ve been there, and done that.
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12 months ago"you don’t deserve a point of view, if the only thing you see is you."- paramore
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1 year ago
i’m marrying you in 20 years.
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1 year ago
i’m too lucky. <3 u guys.
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1 year ago
crossroads
falling a thousand feet per second.
.
.
.
.
.
sometimes life presents you with opportunities. they may not necessarily be good or bad, but they are opportunities none the less. being placed at a fork in the road screws up one’s compass. it leaves one feeling emotionally and mentally drained. dare i even say that it throws one into a bottomless pit of depression.
arriving to a decision is needless to say, a tiresome chore. friends and family weigh in, each with different view points and comments. at the end of the day, the decision is still yours to make.
then like a rude epiphany, it hits you in the face.
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1 year ago
well, if there’s one thing i can thank my dad for: its my love for good music.
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1 year ago
what are friends for anyways?
sometimes, i lay awake in bed, thinking about what i’ve accomplished in my whole 25 (okay, okaaaay, 26) years of my life.
i made some wrong turns, bad decisions, dug my way out, and came back up to the surface. i certainly don’t regret a single thing. (except maybe my crap ass chicken scratch of a tattoo on my shoulder. it was the result of a stupid bet i made when i was 14 - don’t judge man!)
one of the many things that i’m proud of is the friends i made along the way. they were there for me, forgivingly, whenever i needed them. there was never once i felt lonely because i knew that anyone of them would be a phone call away.
so to all my crazyfuckedup friends: thank you for being in my life. each and everyone of you, complete me.
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1 year ago
forgetaboutthepricetag.
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1 year ago
fuck it and just be happy
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1 year ago
look out world, this girl is smokin’ hot.
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1 year ago
inspiration
its been a while.
i remember my last long entry being on the eve of my print media exam. well folks, its the eve of my pr exam and i’m up (at 12am) writing this.
you know, i might be studying mass comm but the funny thing is is that i sometimes feel that writing can be such a chore. it seems as though, recently (i think), i lack the inspiration and fire. writing isn’t like ridin’ a bike you know. you can’t just pick up where you left off. it just withers away i guess.
when i’m asked to write essays for projects in school, i find myself surfing the web for enthusiam and creativity. that, to me is cheating. if it doesn’t come from deep within me then it must be, right. i’ve lost my words. where did they go?
even verbal expressions are tough for me now. many friends have told me that i’m an emotional cripple and the old lana would have violently disagreed. but the new me nods her head in silent acknowledgement.
well, perhaps it could be due to the lack of excitement in my life. its been work, school, work, school, occasional drinking sessions with the crew, and then work some more. it really doesn’t help being in operations too - the least creatively stimulating line of work one can ever be in.
that being said, i really do love my job. (ok, maybe love’s too strong a word. enjoy. i really do enjoy my job.) i get to work with incredibly brilliant people and fly ard asia. i’ve got supportive colleagues and bosses and the location of my office is the shopping central of singapore. whats not to love (i mean enjoy) eh?
so, i guess i have my new years resolution. finding one’s creativity can’t be THAT hard. searching for that spark should not take a lot of elbow grease. coz if its one thing i do know, i don’t ever want to be uninspired or unoriginal.
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1 year ago
yes, it is possible to fall in luv all over again.
u r gorgeous my lil jellybun.
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1 year ago
believing you.
i don’t mind it, i don’t mind at all
it’s like you’re the swing set, and i’m the kid that falls
it’s like the way we fight, the times i’ve cried
we come to blows and every night
the passion’s there, so it’s got to be right, right?i don’t mind it, i still don’t mind at all
it’s like one of those bad dreams when you can’t wake up
looks like you’ve given up, you’ve had enough
But i want more, no, i wont’ stop
‘cause I just know you’ll come around, right? -
1 year ago
sometimes, all u need are a couple of idiotic friends and 2 beers to have a great time
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1 year ago
they might drive me crazy sometimes, but i do love my girls.
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