1. 2 years ago 

   wear NOT your heart on your sleeve

   

   i believe the common phrase goes: ‘wear your heart on your sleeve’. definition? people who wear their heart on their sleeve express their emotions freely and openly, for all to see. i seem to be on the opposite side of the fence.

   ever since my dad decided to leave us and start his own family wit some filipino nurse (they have a son together), i’ve been in a firm non-believer of marriage. why bother gettin married when your husband’s just gonna cheat on you with some younger -not necessarily hotter looking chick?

   i’ve never loved the idea of love. never loved being in love. never loved falling in love. i was, maybe still am, a walking bomb whose timer was set for one year. tick, tick, tick, BOOM. all the relationships i’ve had barely made it past a year. don’t know why. they just do.

   quite honestly, i’m sick of the dating game. i’m sick of having to get to know someone new all over again. the game used to excite and thrill me. you know that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling everytime you meet someone you fancy? i loved it. it was fresh and enticing every single time.

   now, all i wanna do is curl up with alfredo and watch old re-runs. boring i know. but hey, at least you don’t have to doll yourself up for a night in front of the telly.

   i don’t know if i will ever believe in love. shrugs. hell, who knows if i’ll ever even truly open up to someone? in lana’s world, open means vulnerable. and we can’t have that now can we? 

2. Notes

happiness sits just outside my window. happiness feels a lot like sorrow. happiness damn near destroys you.

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