1. 6 months ago 

   your typical bad kid.

   i was a bad kid.

   couldn’t give 2 shits about what they said. didn’t give a damn about the consequences. never up before 4pm, never back home before 5am. young and rebellious. school took a backseat to my life. partying was my only priority. i felt no fear and never understood regret.

   i did lots of things i’m not proud of. but my family eventually forgave me and i pulled myself out of that rut. to this day, friends ask ‘how did you get back on the right path?’ and you know, i honestly have no idea. it was like waking up from a horrible nightmare. your mind feels weak and disoriented at first, but then you shake it off and go back to sleep. and when you wake up, you can barely remember what the nightmare was.

   so yes, i never grew up the conventional way. i destroyed my mother’s dream of having a lawyer/doctor daughter a long time ago.  

   when you’ve experienced the bad, you learn to appreciate the good a whole lot more.  coming out of that unruly hiatus, i knew what i wanted out of life.

   growing up book smart was never part of my destiny. looking at friends who went through the more conventional and traditional route, i can’t help but feel blessed. i sit here today, proud of the woman i’ve become. i wouldn’t change my past even if i could. without it, i would never be the person i am today. 

   one day, i will smile and tell my bad kids that i’ve been there, and done that.

2. Notes

happiness sits just outside my window. happiness feels a lot like sorrow. happiness damn near destroys you.

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